I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize