we have pet lesbian snakes
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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