He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
