why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
