Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
