It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Im part way to drunk.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize