I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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