It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize