Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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