The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
