I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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