ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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