Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
