I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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