what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
