definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
