dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
