Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize