she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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