last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
