Dual....:-)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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