Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
