so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my being single is dangerous.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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