ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
