I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
