He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
