I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
