but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
