ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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