The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
