I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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