Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Randomize
