Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
so explain again why im purple
no
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
