oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
