he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
