he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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