38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
