he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
