no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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