I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
