First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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