I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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