it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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