Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
