Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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