Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
