Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
