I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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