I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
