can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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