whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize