Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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