No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize