I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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