Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize