Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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