Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
