This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
