Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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