I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
