I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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