all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
