That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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