I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Pooping to opera.
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