This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
