it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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