Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
