if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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