No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
