Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
