ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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