idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I could fuck to npr.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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