she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
