Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
not ubering you a puppy
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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