and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
