I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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