Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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